Releasing that pain
It’s my pain too and whenever I chose
not to be a victim of the world
I moved a hundred miles
past that pain
So here I’m getting up in the morning facing a certain situation I feel stuck with, thinking how unfair life is … NO I am not a victim, its’ already on its way to be solved! ….and here I’m standing under the shower thinking about a certain person not replying to me and how this is so frustrating… NO I am not a victim and surely she is just being busy and when I let it go she, will reply for sure! … and here I’m having lunch on my beautiful terrace worrying about an issue to solve with my laptop and how boring and time-consuming it is to deal with it … NO I am not a victim of this problem spoiling my day and besides I am not sweating the small stuff … and lastly here I am going through Facebook and somewhere at the back of my mind concluding that people seem to be all sorted except for myself …HAHAHA everybody else thinks that, too! Thinking that something might be somehow wrong with them, and everyone else has their life totally working for them!
And then … many of us feel a victim of incompetent and selfish colleagues, managers and other departments at our workplace, our spouses, our parents, traffic and transport, rising bills, debts, the economy, people and companies ripping us of, unreasonable demands from others on us, lack of time, inflated irrational bureaucracies, certain out of their mind politicians sending the world down the drain, the whole universe doing things to us….
If we can get over this victim mindset that creeps and seeps into our lives like a shadow companion following us everywhere, we’ll be so much more powerful, so much more effective in everything we do, so much more inspired, energised, creative and radiant and a lot happier! We can truly blossom.
It starts early on in our lives when we feel like a victim of our parents or caretakers who so not match our expectations and of cause other parents are much easier going ….then in school we feel the victim of unfair and evil teachers and classmates who do not treat us well and above all we feel the victim of traumatic experiences that have shaped us and are responsible for our life not being enjoyable. We build a whole narrative about how everything in the world is wrong, how other people are wrong and how things are not working for us.
We even feel a victim of our bodies that are not functioning as well we want them to, not realising that our thoughts and habits have something to do with it!
So let’s stop it. When we make a total and complete choice that we are not victims of anyone in this world nor of any uncontrollable unseen forces nor of ourselves and our bodies, our energy will shift and we have new possibilities. That’s it. It’s a choice. Once we have made the choice, we can then start changing our thoughts at each step. Being a victim is just a thought we keep thinking in different forms and then this habitual thought of being a victim becomes an emotion that the body keeps reproducing, like anger, frustration, sadness, despair, fear,…
If we want to lead ourselves and/or others, we cannot be in the victim self-talk because each time we blame something or someone else, we lose our power. If someone else or some condition, state or thing is to blame for us not feeling good and something not working, we can’t do anything about it! And in that energy of feeling powerless we can’t be happy. We always somehow want to have something or someone to be different for things to work and for us to feel better. It’s a hopeless chase. I keep saying this because it’s the only thing I have ever found totally true: We can only change ourselves. Other people may have wronged us or are even still doing it. But whatever they did or are still doing is a reflection of something deep down in ourselves that we keep reproducing. We can be the change in the world and then the world around us will change. Let’s make that powerful choice now and release the shadow companion to go AWAY! It’s totally worth it!
PRACTICE
Pick a problem or person you feel is responsible for your anger, frustration or sadness. Observe yourself as you think about it. Notice whether you feel like a victim of this person or situation. How does it feel when you think about it? Now shift your thinking just a little bit, with a slightly more optimistic view on it. How does this feel? You can chose a mantra to bring up in your mind that helps you to shift, like “I am happy no matter what and this victim thing is dissolving now!”
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