Leadership Insights

“People become what they want to become.“ Liberian proverb

Leaders, as all human beings, go through a process of human conditioning. We become the product of our own development, shaped by our families, societies, culture and experience, by the feedback from the world around us about what we should do and by our experience of what works. Our behaviours are guided by the consequence of previous actions. This self- adapted learning process results in the formation of habits. read more…

‘The one who complains much does little.’ Kenyan proverb

Driving in dense traffic and being stuck in traffic jams is one of the things I deeply dislike and try to avoid at all costs. Recently, however, I was faced with exactly that, as I had to start driving to town every morning. When I started these daily journeys I decided I had to adjust myself to the in my view aggressive driving style of drivers in Nairobi, as otherwise I would not be able to ‘assert’ myself and move from the spot. In the first two weeks my stress about the situation mounted daily. I felt as if in a battlefield, battling with my small car against the dominance of the big cars on the road. read more…

“He who has not reached his destination never gets tired.” Kenyan proverb

Feeling challenged in what we do is a major motivator. It is like hiking a mountain: our blood starts circulating and our energy rises.

For myself, if challenges do not come my way, I have to create them to keep my blood flowing! A recent challenge I created for myself was to give a speech without the use of notes. During my last speech in a Public Speaking Club the evaluator had heavily criticized my use of notes. I did not like the feedback and I found it painful but later on I was able to shift myself and reframe the issue as a challenge. Despite being convinced that I have a poor memory, I told myself that I must be able to deliver a speech by heart, out of the comfort zone of my notes. I delivered it yesterday evening and it went fine. Obviously there is much room for improvement but now I know I can do it. It unlocked something inside me. read more…

“A feather is as delicate thing when removed from a bird yet it carries the bird anywhere in the world” Sudanese proverb

We as human beings like to take ourselves very seriously. We get defensive when we feel the image we hold of ourselves is under threat or when things move outside our control. We protect ourselves against intrusions that may erode this image and the opinions of ourselves we have acquired. When we do this as leaders we may stop listening to others and create tension and frustration around us. read more…

“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience.” Byron Katie

I recently discovered that somebody I loved and trusted lied to me in unimaginable ways. When such things happen, it takes time to recover and heal ourselves. In many ways I feel a victim, enraged and hurt at the injustice, sure that I did nothing to the person to deserve this. It is not an empowering feeling. It means letting the person have power over me and over how I feel about life, creating paralysis.
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“If sweetness is excessive, it is no longer sweetness.” African proverb

How many times have we found ourselves in a situation where events in our life are taking their course seemingly outside of our control, where other people take advantage of us, where we do not have the courage to be clear enough with people?

Setting boundaries in our life is something that many of us struggle with. Just recently I was in a private situation where I was determined to set a boundary with somebody and then found myself not doing it. I am using the expression ‘found myself’, as it best depicts the feeling of being overwhelmed and passive. It made me feel resentful inside, and physically I even experienced a sense of nausea. read more…